Tried But Failed

So I’ve been wondering how to make this post, I don’t want this to be a depressing post though I’m feeling quiet defeated

I moved down to NSW for a fresh start at a better life. And while it has been great down here as the stress hasn’t been that bad, it’s now come to the point where we no have to go back.

We have been applying left right and centre for our own home through realestates ever through housing. The the realestates keep rejecting us and to top it off housing lost pur application. As much as I love being here, we have to go back.

I feel like I have failed my family as I wasn’t able to provide them with the so called better life.

I feel like I have failed myself as I have called it quits.

Maybe with me feeling so defeated etc life may lessen up how much it wants to screw me up the butt with the head of a pineapple. Things have to get better right?

Down and dirty

Nothing beats having your child come home filthy from childcare. As you know they have had a good day. I spoke with the educator as she said that Lucy and another child made dirty angles all day. In saying that it’s going to be a bitch gett8ng the clothes clean. Though a day filled with learning and playing trumps the washing.

Tantrums

Sadly you would think little miss Lucy would learn… but nope this is the third time she has been sent out side on the grass for a time out in an hour and half….. so far this morning she has let the cat out, let Athena out side, hit her brother and grined and stuck her tongue out at me… surly I know she is acting out, though the reasons as to why baffle me…..

I’m honestly at a loss as to what to d9… she just doesn’t listen… so now I have to hope she doesn’t wake the neighborhood up with all her nonsense screaming or her screaming out i want, I want, I want….

Sadly I can see it’s going to be one of those days…. God give me the strength to get through today without going phyco…

Tooth Fairy

So it seems the tooth fairy is going to be paying a visit to our household tonight. As master Domonic has lost his first tooth. What is the going rate these days for the tooth fairy?

Fun in the sun

So it was a really hot and sticky day today, what a better way to cool off then to have some water play.

It’s always great to hear the kids laughing and plating away. It also helps that it was 36 degrees Celsius today. Not sure of the humidity though.

Even little miss Athena joined in with splashing around.

Then they dried off by practicing some drills out in the sun

Athena even wanted to join in she ran over to Blake yelling at the top of her lungs DADDY!!!!

After a stressful start to the day. It’s good to hear the kids laughing and playing around

Good bye 2019

I think the photo states it all.. 2019 has been one hell of a year. I would like to say that in a good way though more good than bad has happened.

I’ve gained some friendships and sadly lost some, one of them is my best friend.

I’ve up ended my kids and moved over 1000kms away for a fresh start, and that on it’s own has been stressful on it’s own.

I have been through countless tantrums and at the same time watched my kids grow.

Though I know 2020 is going to be my year for a change. It’s about time I start doing what I love and putting my needs first, instead of everyone else’s.

I’m not going to be sad saying good bye to 2019

Venom

I can feel it running through my veins.
The love and care you promised me.
At first I was addicted, I couldn’t get enough.
Now I can feel it turning toxic,
Like venom from a snake,
Poisoning every inch of me.

I need to let go,
I need to be free.
I need to wash the venom from my veins.
I need to feel clean.

You took away my heart, and swallowed it whole.
You left me out to dry, feeling cold and empty inside.
I should of known I’d never be good enough for you.
You promised me the moon and the stars,
And in return I gave you every inch of me.
To have it all taken away,
Now to be left bitter and cold.

I need to let go,
I need to be free.
I need the wash the venom from my veins,
I need to feel clean.